2026 • THE NON-RIDE
THE GREAT
DOWNGRADE
What could have been an epic Gulf Coast motorcycle ride has been reduced to two days in MAD's Bimmer. We are processing the loss poorly.
END OF OCTOBER 2026
TEXAS
COMPROMISE
- Duration
- 2 painfully short days
- Transportation
- MAD's Bimmer
- Destination
- Galveston
- Primary activities
- Beers + swim
- Soundtrack
- Our youth, at irresponsible volume
- Pool status
- Frog-controlled territory
The original plan had everything: adventure bikes, Gulf Coast miles, Galveston, maybe a ferry, and the sort of unnecessary motorcycle expedition the Covenant surely intended. Then three grown men compared calendars and discovered we only have two days.
So the motorcycles have been benched. In their place: MAD’s Bimmer — climate control, cupholders, and every other humiliating luxury standing between us and greatness. We’ll pile in, turn up the music we all grew up listening to, and storm Galveston like three aging teenagers with better credit scores.
The revised mission is simple: beers, a swim, questionable coastal decisions, then back to MAD’s house to finish the trip at the pool. The pool is reportedly already occupied by frogs. We do not know how many, who invited them, or whether MAD has formally surrendered ownership. Diplomatic negotiations will begin upon arrival.